TENSION: What is American?

It's funny that as I being to write this post and what ultimately was the catalyst of this post, I look back at an unpublished post that I began on the subject "Context Matters."

I come to you today frustrated, hurt, disappointed, a bit in rage, if I am honest. Yesterday, was the 4th of July in the United States a celebration of this great nation's independence against tyranny and oppression of their day. My tension is that for me, I just wasn't in a space of celebration or reverence. Instead I was in a bit of a space of mourning, which became ever more evident by the conflicting posts in my social media timelines.

This Independence Day was hard to celebrate in light of migrant camps where people are dying due to terrible conditions within them. It was hard to celebrate seeing stories of Black Israelis protesting the shooting of a Black teen by an off-duty cop and other rising experiences of police brutality against Black men in Israel, does this sound familiar? It was hard to celebrate with the backdrop of social media timeline arguments of individuals noting what is "American" and what is not "American."

And then this morning, I wake up and scroll my news feed to see an article noting that Sen. Ted Cruz responded to a post by Colin Kaepernick regarding Frederick Douglass speech- 'What to a Slave is the Fourth of July?' The title of the article "Cruz adds 'context' after Colin Kaepernick quotes Frederick Douglass 'Fourth of July' Speech."

On the Fourth of July, 2019, Colin Kaepernick quotes an excerpt of Frederick Douglass' famed speech with a video that interweaves historical accounts of slavery and also current experiences of Black men in the U.S. and police brutality.  The excerpt (images screenshot from FoxNews Article linked above)

Cruz's responses are as follows (images screenshot from FoxNews Article linked above):

What is so frustrating is something I noted a while back from a Bill Burr comedic set where Burr, on the topic of Colin Kaepernick and his choice to kneel for the flag, "Are you going to argue with another person's experience?"

Mr. Cruz, you are correct, context does matter, but Kaepernick's quote was and is not out of context towards the experiences still faced by Americans today. Furthermore to purport that Kaepernick is un-American is outrageous and insensitive, especially in the context of the statement that you made. Because in it, you dismiss what Kaepernick is kneeling against. Don't mute our experience. If I were to help you out,  "Kapernick is not anti-American; he is rightly and passionately, anti-police brutality, injustice and inequality."

I agree with Mr. Cruz that everyone should in fact read Frederick Douglass' speech, What to the slave is the Fourth of July?  it's important in the history AND present of this country. When the vestiges of what Douglass was criticizing still have strongholds to this day. 

If I am honest, I am not even angry with Mr. Cruz, well, partially, because his privilege and the state of our country made him feel he had the right to argue with someone else's experiences. Instead of actually hearing or seeing Mr. Kaepernick for what he has been relentlessly and with great cost been highlighting, Mr. Cruz took it upon himself to step in. What is discouraging are the stories that Mr. Kaepernick was schooled- the truth is, if that's what we are taking away from this then we all lose, because yet again, we are not seeing someone else's experiences. Until we can take a moment to really see each other we are never going to truly figure out a way to work forward.

Colin, thank you for your voice, for it is American. 

Stay on Track---Don't allow this NARRATIVE to be co-opted

This morning, January 25, 2017 the US's 45th President Donald Trump tweeted the following statement:

The conversations that followed these tweets has been adding to what is seen as problematic and loaded and more than just truly investigating if Voter Fraud actually occurred. 

This statement and the continued conversation around this statement is absurd-- this man won the election, he is the 45th President of these United States. And when there was a call into question about how the results ended that way and the structure of the electoral college came into question due to the disparity of the popular vote, individuals were told it was unfair to undermine this campaigns "clear victory."

So now, you are in office and on the 5th day of your time as sitting President, you and your Administration are making claims of Voter Fraud because your ego is bruised that you didn't win the popular vote?

This statement is problematic because first there was slavery, then there was Jim Crow and now you have substantial cases where some of those structural limitations on one's ability to vote are starting to creep back. When you think about it, we haven't even fully closed the gap of the systemic fallout of slavery and Jim Crow. 

So when you see things popping up such as  Voter ID Laws  and the negative impact those have had on people and elections. There are and have been continued efforts to suppress an individuals right to vote. Cases over the last few years continue to rise to the top of each election season and has been a huge campaign in THIS particular election season as well. So when the conversation becomes a focus on Voter Fraud it causes me to raise a critical eye. What is the reason that this conversation, "voter fraud" is taking much more steam, but real acts of voter suppression have not. 

Additionally, it causes me to wonder, at what end will this "major investigation" go? It creates a slippery slope because if the investigation provides and small number of cases, the next step is to then increase restrictions to make acts of voter fraud less likely. But what really does that mean, it allows for more acts of voter suppression to occur. Any law passed allows states and other administrative offices to interpret and execute the law how they see fit. 

This conversation continues to be frustrating. 

If we want to be the change we want to see in the world, we have to call out some of the things that are happening and being said. I recognize that I am hyper-sensitive to the impact because I live in DC and have also studied and continue to be connected to politics, but it's in statements like these that we think-- yes I agree, voter fraud is something that we need to limit, but when history and data prove that voter fraud isn't as big as this Administration is claiming it to be, it creates a distraction of a real fundamental gap in basic civic duty when it comes to people's right to vote being suppressed continuously. 

Don't forget who you are

It is easy in this work of Social Justice to forget that we are also human, it is easy to get caught up in our own ego sometimes when we think we have a point to win-- but don't forget who you are!

This morning I was on one of my social media accounts and I came across this post that caught my attention.

The post had the following statement:

Now what is noted as "This quoted Tweet is unavailable" might have been removed after my conversation, at least I hope so. But the article that was quoted was written by Monica Potts. It can be found here.

After reading Ms. Potts' article I felt that the individual's tweet was misleading. I don't mind the statement that there in fact could be "white women who overwhelmingly voted for Trump and White Supremacist Patriarchy and [then might now have written pieces] about how they're in danger." But the individual's tweet was misleading in assuming that Ms. Potts was one of them.

So I commented, and made the above assessment. Which turned into the individual becoming defensive. Which continued with me sticking to my point, it is unfair to use that article attributing Ms. Potts specifically as a woman who voted for Trump and White Supremacy. If we can't stand up for people and treating them fairly then we continue to perpetuate where we currently are.

But what broke me was this:

"Here you are doing the work of and for white supremacy"---WOW!
 I'll admit I had to take a breather. That on one blow made me angry, made me defensive, made me want to fire back at him. But instead I chose not to message him back- heck, he asked me not to.

But then he took it a step farther, it was fine I guess, for me to have him addressing me directly, regardless of whether or not it was public but then he did this:

I will own for me being called "white" raises so many of my insecurities. As a young girl, my friends teased me about me "talking white" or being the "whitest Black girl they know." Now I love my friends and I know they meant me no harm but the reality is it still was something I struggled with.

However, his false assumption that I was white was perpetuated by a response (see below) to a previous tweet, where in looking at this entire conversation for me just shows me how far out of being rational his thoughts were.

But here I was in the midst of all of this breaking down because I forgot what is at stake. I broke down because I allowed this stranger to tell me who I was. I let his identity destroy me for a brief moment because I let my ego define me. When in fact I know exactly WHO I am and more importantly WHO I belong to. I am a Christian, who cares about people. I will always care about people. It breaks my heart to see injustice, it brakes my heart to see inequality, but in condemning others

We are called to be Salt & Light. -- We are called to bring out the God-Flavors of the earth. We are called to be light, bringing out the God-Colors in the world. What I did was right, I would again and again stand up for that woman. It wasn't okay for her to be singled out in that manner and even if no one else saw it, it was the right thing to do. But I am also not angry with that individual who is also so misguided in his thoughts that he is literally firing shots at everyone. He was waiting for the attack and I gave it to him. 

I don't know how we get through this, but I can't lose sight of the work I am called to do. I can't lose sight of the fact that even in my anger, hurt and pain, people are on the other side of that. People deserve grace, people deserve love, people deserve the experience of the freedom that I have because of the love that I have for Jesus. People---That's what matters, that's what will always matter. 

Not Okay....

These times that we are in is killing my spirit and energy softly. I have been emotionally disrupted with the events that have happened--- #AltonSterling || #PhilandoCastile || #Dallas and the many other events that caused a hashtag, a headline or a history of terror and trauma that have happened before and simultaneously with this time.

Writing is my release, my healing. I can no longer be quite in the spaces that I influence. Action will be my redemption. My voice matters, my vote matters the most and to all of my folks asking what can they do--VOTE!


               -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not Okay..

I am not okay

Humanity is not okay

We are not okay

I'm not okay with the state of terror that I live in//

I'm not okay with the blatant disrespect and violence against Black bodies//

I'm not okay with the FEAR, the PAIN, the DISCONTENT and DISORDER that lives within me//

I'm not okay with the silence//

I'm not okay with the neglect//

I'm not okay with the ignorance to not understand the TRAUMA that my community is facing//

I am not okay

Humanity is not okay

We are not okay

I'm not okay with some of the communities I belong to, not acknowledging that individuals they know are in pain and are suffering//

I'm not okay with your inability to say directly to me that you care//

I'm not okay with your inability to acknowledge that you are sorry for what I'm experiencing DIRECTLY TO ME//

I'm not okay with our society making basic expressions of compassion uncomfortable in this moment//

I'm not okay with it feeling like the only comfort I am able to receive, feel and internalize is from my community who is suffering through the same trauma I am//

I am not okay

Humanity is not okay

We are not okay

I'm not okay with seeing Black men & boys walking around me on the street and silently praying they aren't next//

I'm not okay with feeling that I'm making you uncomfortable for sharing my pain//

I'm not okay with feeling that my job is to make you feel less uncomfortable, when my comfort is continuously disrupted in the torment and torture of Black men and families//

Today I am not okay

Tomorrow I might not be okay

But my prayer, my fight, my hope is I will be ~ WE will be ~ Humanity will be

#THISISTRAUMA #THISISTERROR #NoMoreNames #BlackLivesMatter #IMatter

Originally posted on my Inside Keesha's World blog. 

In Mourning.... (Thanks Jamila)

There are many quotes that are running through my head right now as I get ready to put together this post. In particular " All my life I had to fight..." (The Color Purple)  In this current state of the Black experience in the US and even before, we have been having to fight. Fight for others to see us as human beings, to see us worthy, to see us a part of this society. There is a collective feeling of crisis for Black people in this country when we constantly are faced with more and more news that brings back these realities, these traumas of our historical experience.

Another quote that comes to mind is one of Dr. King "They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone."- I have a dream 

A friend of mine posted this image

With it she expressed things I haven't been able to. I am tired, my heart is literally breaking, I walk around in silence around these issues of injustice that I have seen because my mouth hurts too much to talk about it anymore, my ears hurt to much to hear about it any more and I am just tired. I want to cry every time we add another name to the list- I want to scream every time another child is buried, I want to hit something every time I see an insensitive comment, or someone just voicing their opinion just to hear themselves talk. 

I need everyone to take a collective moment of silence and mourn, mourn for the children we are burying, mourn for the loss of innocence that continues to happen by our hands. I am about to turn 30 and I have seen too much in my lifetime that has dramatically shaped and changed my experience in the world. I can't say that it's not for the better, but when death is all too real and all to close to so many of us, when it can be prevented, we are all at fault. 

I will never be a police officer or know what it is like to have to walk out my door and pray I make it home. I hope to never have to face a moment where I am pleading for my life from someone who feels they have the right to take it. But here is the thing, those points of few are the problem to begin with. Black bodies and police officers are living in this mentality of war and have been for so long.  It is this attitude and mindset that continues to bury my innocence, my hope and my trust that things will get better. When officers walk out in an attitude of war, that attitude permeates the atmosphere in real and ugly ways.

But the same can be said for marginalized people. They walk into this world ready for battle, ready for war against the people who are set to "serve and protect."

This life that we are living is NOT NORMAL. And I need us all to stop acting like it is or this should be.  I need us all to take a pause, to take a moment of silence, not to be silenced, but to really think does it matter what our opinion is, who's wrong and who's right when a life has ended before it was expected?

I'm in mourning because I am tired of seeing the battle between two people who I consider friends on Facebook. I'm in mourning because I am tired of being let down by friends who will never understand the pain that I carry EVERY TIME another one of my collective is murdered, is made a mockery and  created into another visual example that who I am in the larger scope of the world does not matter. I am in mourning because until we as a society get it right, you will never know that 
"[our] freedom is inextricably bound."- Dr. MLK Jr. 

"Return to Compassion" -Monica Lewinsky

I was 12 years old when news channels were filled  with updates regarding President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. During that time, our political environment was changed drastically. For me it was the first that I had begun to understand, through my own lens what political scandal meant.  President Clinton became the spotlight of a scandal that involved too many themes, that at the time I did not truly understand.

As I look back though,  I know that President Clinton continued to be at the forefront of news, but I don't think  I ever asked the question "what happened to that young woman?"

There have been a few times since that year that her name has popped up in the news. But it wasn't until I saw it this last time that my interest was peaked peaked by hearing that Monica had participated in a Ted Talk.

Of course I was definitely drawn to this because of what she represents in history, and I am glad that I clicked.  Video courtesy of TEDTalks and Youtube

THANK YOU

I want to commend Ms. Lewinsky for her courage to speak up and out about what she experienced during that time. What I remember the most from that time period was that it was a whirlwind for all involved. At the center of this situation was this anger & resentment directed against the President, but Ms. Lewinsky was unfortunately a casualty of that political firestorm. For years, she has stayed out of the limelight, I think like many others who feel what she felt- shame, whether that was her own emotion or what was pushed upon her from society.

Through her TEDTalk, I reflect on how I have shaped my character as it relates to the plight of others. She says,"The more we click on this kind of gossip, the more numb we get to the human lives behind it."

WOW! I will own, I didn't think about Monica Lewinsky at all. I forgot ultimately that she was tied to the scandal- I mean, I knew that she was linked to the story, but did I think about her?- no! Unlike me, it was easy for others to not forget who she was and what she represented.  Her name has been the center of a joke (pull up Beyonce's latest album and you hear a reference to Monica almost 17 years later), but she is a REAL person, who has had to live with this choice and the consequences of her actions since then. I can't imagine walking in her shoes, knowing that she is who she is to the world around her.

Furthermore, can I just take a moment to also note that Former President Bill Clinton has virtually returned unblemished from this experience. Yes, he is associated with this experience, but he was "allowed" to live his life. He's an well acclaimed author, philanthropist, running one of the most dynamic presidential foundations, while this young woman, wasn't really given the space to have made a mistake.  Look at Anita Hill, she too has had to walk this road as the one who was wrong in her actions, while the man whom she reported gets to continue his life and at the status that he has, and every so often we are reminded of what had happened. We have allowed this to occur, publicly shaming these women for either speaking out of their own volition to say a truth that happened to them, or being forced to be outed as a young woman who made a choice, that had negative consequences.

When it comes to the growth of online communication, Ms. Lewinsky says, "We need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of expression... Let's acknowledge the difference between speaking up with INTENTION and speaking up for ATTENTION."

I couldn't agree more with her. As much as I like Social Media, I don't think too many actually think about what they are putting out there and how it's contributing to the advancement of society or not. Too often people just post something without follow-up or do not know how to react if another individual comments to open up a dialogue. It's within these spaces that we do not allow young people to grow- as Ms. Lewinsky notes early in her speech- how many of us didn't make a mistake or do something we regretted at 22? I will say I am STILL making mistakes today. We have all made mistakes, but in today's day and age with the rise of the internet and new media, our mistakes never really leave us- they become permanent.

We don't have an opportunity to grow, not truly, because we get silenced and others speak for us about what our behaviors mean. Our mistakes in this day and age become frozen and then associated with "who we are, at the core." I feel sorry for those who are younger than me, because the shoes they walk in is much tougher in these conditions.

I think her point for me is the most valid in social media such as Yik Yak an anonymous posting site that allows anyone to post virtually anything. The anonymity scares me. In the context of race relations, I  could be sitting next to the person who is making a racist statement online,  with no ownership of who they actually are. It reminds me of Eli Wiesel when he wrote about the silent witnesses in Nazi Germany in his book Night. Paraphrasing from Wiesel, it wasn't the Nazis that he was most worried about, it was those who didn't stand up to what was happening, that he was concerned for the most. This is how I feel about Yik Yak, it isn't the person who posted the statement that concerns me, it's those individuals who decide to encourage that thought by upvoting that does. I couldn't imagine how Ms. Lewinsky could have survived if Yik Yak had been around when her mistake was made public.

In listening to her talk, I was most moved by what she stated regarding the culture of compassion, and her reflection on those days, weeks, months and years  when her parents were afraid that she would die. When it comes to these experiences, we all have a role to play. She was 22 years old, it wasn't her choice to have this story or her life go public. But we placed her there, to stone her, to make her the "evil one." How many others will we allow this to happen to, before we remember that there is a human life attached to our tweet, yak, upvote, like, favorite or retweet?

I don't want to be numb to the human lives that are behind the story, what about you?

Silent no more....

I recently came across and article that really struck me and has caused me to rethink what is happening in the world around me.

The article, by Huffington Post, was on the topic of homeless women and sanitation issues. Here's the thing, when I think about homeless people, I realized that my thoughts are limited to just the surface- these individuals do not have a home, and what money they do have is limited.

But I have been blind to the this whole other layer of their experience. I haven't even thought about the health implications, the general inability to care for oneself. And when we think about shelters and the services that they are supposed to provide to those in need, to think about the privilege I have to be able to care for myself in this way as a woman, while another person is not, is truly heart breaking.

Reading this article totally changed my concept and made me have to reflect and segment what it means to be homeless. Having to remember that as women, there are additional barriers that are included within this current categorization of their experience.

In the article the author states," The fact that menstruation is a taboo topic to begin with, means that people who are able to help, often aren’t even aware that such a vast need exists."


This couldn't be more true for me. We don't necessarily talk about women's health in deep discussions outside of abortions, birth control etc. But when it comes to menstruation, a part of the experience of being a woman, something that impacts us all and can dramatically impact our general well-being if not taken care of, we don't talk about it. But we need to talk about it more! There is a part of our society who needs this to be a topic of discussion so that women can get the care that they need.

I would even impart those brands to consider making more charitable donations to shelters to support this need.

I do impart that if you do feel called, to consider making donations for hygienic products on behalf of women's shelters to provide for a much needed and desired service.

There is still much that we can do to change another person's experience. What do you stand for? What will you no longer be silent about?

#BeTheChange