As much as I say I am Haitian-American, in the United States, I am fully aware that I am Black in America. I have a lot to compensate for in terms of this. No one off of first glance is going to know that I am Haitian-American. What they do know is I am a Black woman in this country and with that, whether I like it or not and whether we admit that or not as a county, this is the life that many women, many Black people in this country face. Because being Black in America means that there are a lot of statistics, stigmas, definitions that are place upon us as a people. Some that we bring on ourselves and others that we allow others to project upon us.
I am not here to argue the relevance of the Black-White Paradigm or whether there are truths behind many or any of the stereotypes that surround the Black community.
However, I would like to comment on one in particular. We (I include myself in this community) tend to raise up those individuals within our family who have done better for themselves than we could have done on our own. What I mean is in the Black community and to a little narrower degree, the Black family we have individuals who we rely on to pull the whole family out of whatever state we are in.
For some, it's the hopes and dreams of a child in college to get a degree that will not only raise that one individual up, but will also raise up the family as well. For some it's the support of watching that star athlete on the b-ball court or gridiron do his thing. Focusing more on the sport than the grades to fall back on. It is in these families that this blog draws from.
I am not saying that the story I am about to tell speaks to EVERY Black family, but it does speak to some. And sadly more than we would like to see. I was watching MTV's 16 & Pregnant it was about this couple who live in Alabama. This young couple got pregnant and decided to get married before the baby arrived in order to create an environment which they thought would be beneficial for their family. 1 I have to comment on the high rate of teen pregnancy and the implications surrounding this and what it says about our sex-education program and the success of the American family. There are many intersections that surround teen pregnancy in terms of education, poverty and family and even friend cycle. There are a lot of things that we need to change in order to make the American family stronger, in order to make the minority family stronger and in order to make the Black American family stronger.
So the father in this MTV story was a star athlete, he had a full ride scholarship to Alabama A&M, his family supported him 100-200%. His dream was their dream and their dream for their son, grandson, brother rested in the success he had on the field. When his girlfriend became pregnant after 8months of dating and they eventually got married without their support hings changed for the family. The father Isaiah and the mother Christina, both had dreams of going to school and becoming professionals as a NFL pro and a inner-city school teacher. But with the arrival of their first child, this family decided to put their dreams of college on hold, which meant that Isaiah lost his scholarship and those dreams of becoming a school teacher were a little farther out. Isaiah's family thinks that Christina trapped him, for those of you who don't know what that means, it means that a girl gets pregnant just so that her boyfriend doesn't have to leave her. And within the Black community, people argue that this comes most often at the expense of the star athlete or the Black man who is going somewhere, considering that there are too many Black men in this country who's only option tends to be a prison cell.
So this family (Isaiah's) holds so much resentment for Christina because they feel that she did just that, she wanted his life and the life and she took advantage of that. Whether or not that is the case, my discontent is that we (the Black community) continue to let this be part of our narration. It saddens to think that young Black women are still being left subject to these circumstances by other Black women. Shouldn't we know by now that WE GET IT. We understand the tragedy that is the Black male in our community. We understand that we are limited in our options of who is still left around to support us when we need it.
but I wish that black women would come together more often. We need to be stronger, for women. And we need to be able to talk to each other in ways that aren't degrading. It isn't the lack of "good men" that make our situation worse, it's how we treat each other as Black women.
Anyway, those were my thoughts here is the story if you are interested..
http://www.mtv.com/shows/16_and_pregnant/season_2/episode.jhtml?episodeID=173722
