Breaking the cycle...

As much as I say I am Haitian-American, in the United States, I am fully aware that I am Black in America. I have a lot to compensate for in terms of this. No one off of first glance is going to know that I am Haitian-American. What they do know is I am a Black woman in this country and with that, whether I like it or not and whether we admit that or not as a county, this is the life that many women, many Black people in this country face. Because being Black in America means that there are a lot of statistics, stigmas, definitions that are place upon us as a people. Some that we bring on ourselves and others that we allow others to project upon us.
I am not here to argue the relevance of the Black-White Paradigm or whether there are truths behind many or any of the stereotypes that surround the Black community.
However, I would like to comment on one in particular. We (I include myself in this community) tend to raise up those individuals within our family who have done better for themselves than we could have done on our own. What I mean is in the Black community and to a little narrower degree, the Black family we have individuals who we rely on to pull the whole family out of whatever state we are in.
For some, it's the hopes and dreams of a child in college to get a degree that will not only raise that one individual up, but will also raise up the family as well. For some it's the support of watching that star athlete on the b-ball court or gridiron do his thing. Focusing more on the sport than the grades to fall back on. It is in these families that this blog draws from.
I am not saying that the story I am about to tell speaks to EVERY Black family, but it does speak to some. And sadly more than we would like to see. I was watching MTV's 16 & Pregnant it was about this couple who live in Alabama. This young couple got pregnant and decided to get married before the baby arrived in order to create an environment which they thought would be beneficial for their family. 1 I have to comment on the high rate of teen pregnancy and the implications surrounding this and what it says about our sex-education program and the success of the American family. There are many intersections that surround teen pregnancy in terms of education, poverty and family and even friend cycle. There are a lot of things that we need to change in order to make the American family stronger, in order to make the minority family stronger and in order to make the Black American family stronger.
So the father in this MTV story was a star athlete, he had a full ride scholarship to Alabama A&M, his family supported him 100-200%. His dream was their dream and their dream for their son, grandson, brother rested in the success he had on the field. When his girlfriend became pregnant after 8months of dating and they eventually got married without their support hings changed for the family. The father Isaiah and the mother Christina, both had dreams of going to school and becoming professionals as a NFL pro and a inner-city school teacher. But with the arrival of their first child, this family decided to put their dreams of college on hold, which meant that Isaiah lost his scholarship and those dreams of becoming a school teacher were a little farther out. Isaiah's family thinks that Christina trapped him, for those of you who don't know what that means, it means that a girl gets pregnant just so that her boyfriend doesn't have to leave her. And within the Black community, people argue that this comes most often at the expense of the star athlete or the Black man who is going somewhere, considering that there are too many Black men in this country who's only option tends to be a prison cell.
So this family (Isaiah's) holds so much resentment for Christina because they feel that she did just that, she wanted his life and the life and she took advantage of that. Whether or not that is the case, my discontent is that we (the Black community) continue to let this be part of our narration. It saddens to think that young Black women are still being left subject to these circumstances by other Black women. Shouldn't we know by now that WE GET IT. We understand the tragedy that is the Black male in our community. We understand that we are limited in our options of who is still left around to support us when we need it.
but I wish that black women would come together more often. We need to be stronger, for women. And we need to be able to talk to each other in ways that aren't degrading. It isn't the lack of "good men" that make our situation worse, it's how we treat each other as Black women.
Anyway, those were my thoughts here is the story if you are interested..

http://www.mtv.com/shows/16_and_pregnant/season_2/episode.jhtml?episodeID=173722

What makes me tick

I saw this quote while I was surfing Twitter updates and I fell in LOVE:
What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think this quotes speaks a lot to the person that I want to become and more importantly the legacy I am trying to leave for my family (whenever that part of my life begins). So let me break down this quote and why I think it is so important to my life.
The other day at work: If you don't know I work with this amazing scholarship program at my University (AU) called, the Frederick Douglass Distinguished Scholars Program. This program is AMAZING and well, as much as it is a development program for our scholars, I am learning so much about myself and my leadership and personal development. Much in part because we have a schedule where we hold weekly seminars for our scholars- this semester our scholars have been reading the

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This week we had someone come and talk to us about Image & Reputation Development, she talked about it in terms of Self Branding and basically Legacy building. She mentioned this point about a "Thru Line" which in Hollywood terms is the singular story line that runs through the movie that no matter what you can fall back on. It's the drawing point of the movie, so like in the Notebook, the "Thru line" would be the love between Allie and Noah. That despite what happened in their lives, him going to war, she getting engaged to someone else, you as a member of the audience are okay with it all because the two of them still have this love that you know exists throughout the film.
So in taking from her direction, I have been trying to determine what my "Thru Line" has been. And for me it is "Social Justice and or Change." So how does this all apply to Emerson's quote?
"What lies behind us"
If you have been reading "
Inside Keesha's World" you will know that my life has been anything but ordinary, but I have never let that life consume the goals that I have set for myself. And as a kid I knew that what I wanted to do with my life was Change the world in which I lived. My legacy has always been to be known for my selflessness and the things I do for others, not because I want to be praised for these accomplishments, but simply because I do not know what else there is to do in life but to serve and make a difference. By far, as I said, my life has not been a bed of roses, but even in my worst struggles I have never had it as bad as the stories and the lives that I am changing around me.

"What lies before us"
Obviously I have life goals, I want to "Be the Change I see in the world." I want to live my life in constant movement, making a difference and impacting people in every part of my life, even if it is for a few minutes of their life, I hope that when a person meets me they see something great in themselves. Ultimately I would love to run a non-profit and really make a difference in the world around me. But we all have goals, there is this path that we are all on and something is driving us to that path whether we are aware of it or not. Some of us, myself included, have been blessed enough to know what that future would be and have been blessed enough to catch glimpses of that dream come closer and closer to being fulfilled. But what drives many of us is that "Thru Line"- "what lies within us"


"What lies within us"
If you do not know what your worth is, or rather if you have no idea what you stand for or the things that you are passionate about, or what you intend to get out of this life, then I think that you should begin to start those reflections. I have said it before, in order to "be the change" you have to start with self. You have to build your foundation and cultivate it in a fashion that makes reaching that goal "before us" easier. I have been blessed as I say, to know what lies within me. And all of the things that I talk about, "Being the Change" my "Pretty Girl Swag" these are those techniques that help me stay on my path, that help me to continue to cultivate myself in to a stronger better person. These are the methods I use to let go of those things behind me, to be aware of the things before me but to be in the present and focused on what I have power over today.

hmm.. A little more reflection to come, but for now- Take me as I am..

Kanye West is Whack!

So normally a topic such as this wouldn't make it into this particular blog. But there is a message behind this blog that I think we all need to get. Part of Being the Change is about owning and knowing yourself. In order to "be the change" you must build a foundation that starts with yourself and this topic that I am about to discuss, in my opinion it's clear that the foundation hasn't been set. That owning yourself and knowing yourself, are still parts of Kanye's character that he needs to develop.
So why do I say Kanye is whack?!

Take a look at this video:


So why you might ask do I think Kanye is WHACK?!
1) Kanye is ALWAYS apologizing! Dude, you are a JERK, own that.. You sit here and talk about " (you) Manning up to the mistakes that you made..." "(you) being a rational, well thought out human being" BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! You continuously have to apologize for the things that you say. Kanye, look Dude, if you are going to be a blunt person, and speak off the cuff, then be THAT GUY! But don't try to come back a week later or a year or three years later and say that "You didn't have enough information to make that claim." This is not the first time or the last time that you would make this "mistake". So "mistimed" or not own your thoughts, own what you say. I think that we need to stop apologizing for the people that we are, and it says something to me, watching you if you claim to be a changed person be a changed person, it should NEVER have to get to the point where I have to watch you apologize again.
Now I could comment on Kanye's rant about feeling like this whole thing was set up, I could also comment about Kanye's tweets and the fact that he canceled his performance etc. But the point that I want to leave with you is don't be Kanye, if you say something OWN IT. I know that it's easier said then done- when ppl say that they do not regret things in their lives, but look, I think you can't live your life holding on to the things you could have changed, the point is if you think there was something you could fix, then you live your life moving forward from that mistake and making changes that ensure you never go down that path again. And if you decide that you are going to apologize or move forward from a mistake, make sure it's only one time that you have to say you're sorry.

With that, I will stick to the title to my Blog: KANYE IS WHACK!!

Letter to Leann Rimes

Hey Y'all so normally celebrity gossip wouldn't be part of an Advocate- Activist blog about changing the world etc. But this particular blog is a little bit about changing yourself.
It the recent news Leann Rimes has been splashed across Tabloids penned a " homewrecker" a "Stalker" and a slew of other names. Women throwing the first stones and casting all types of blame etc on her. If you don't know the story let me refresh your memory. Leann Rimes and Actor Eddie Cibrian were filming a movie together and fell in love (so they say). Both of them were married at the time of their meeting and Eddie has children involved as well.
The two of the split from their significant others and ended up getting together. A year and a half later their divorces are final the two of them live together and the story has gotten a lot more play due to the two of them taking a more active role in the public by trying to plead their side.
So here is my letter to Leann Rimes:


Dear Leann,
I don't CARE about your life, or the things that you do in your private time. I don't know the story behind what happened to you and Eddie and I don't care. I understand that people might have gotten hurt in the backlash but to be honest that is life.
What annoys me is that your life has now become the front page news, when more pertinent problems are occurring. Such as the Hurricane in Haiti and the Caribbean, Riots in Oakland, the fact that our country just wen through one of the biggest political swings in politics in A LONG time etc.
It's not that I don't think learning about other people's lives is interesting it's simply that I have other things to do in my life and with my time than to be focused on your life and the mistakes you make or don't make. And to be honest the biggest reason I don't care is because, well, People make mistakes and we are human and things like your life happen everyday and no one expects there to be this huge year long battle over it: I mean look at Tori and Dean their marriage is built off of the same start yours is. They met on a set and fell in love. Dean was still married and had kids. And they are now happy and that is the last thing people talk about. And if you all recall the "Brangelina" scandal.. Brad was married to Jennifer Aniston and the tabloids didn't spend nearly as much time casting stones of tossing blame.
I think it is outrageous how many women are the first to blow up on this situation without realizing or acknowledging that we do this to each other everyday. That women and men find someone to love and then like that they move on to the next one. Does it hurt, yes, but is it our business? NO! So to you Leann Rimes,
I'd like to tell you I don't care, because I simply don't. But more importantly I don't care because your life is not mine and I don't feel that it is anybody's business but yours and the people who are directly involved. I'd like to say that maybe one day we'd get used to it.. but to be honest this is the price that gets paid as a celeb.

Sincerely,
A person who has more things interesting to do than focus on your love life.

It's only a little nudge...

.... but it has a big impact.
I have a friend who is despondent about the pace in which this country and this moment in time is moving for change. He reminds me a lot of myself. I freak out about how slow things are going and how I feel like although today's generation has it's moments we aren't as passionate as other generations towards action. I have always said that I sometimes wish I was part of the Civil Rights Era and what kind of activist I would be then.
But I have to say that now when I look at the times, I know that my one chip at the mountain isn't going to make that mountain topple right away, but it will at least cause more chips and breaks that impact that mountain. I do not want to be apathetic, I do not want to just stand around when there are things that need to be done. I think we do them in our own ways, we make the impact when we can. Through conversations that change ones mind, through writing, through action etc. But we all have our ways in which we impact the world to make it better.
I understand like Dr. King once said that " I may not get to the mountain top" but I know that what I am doing now is so that that mountain top can be reached. If we just sit idly by and let these injustices continue than what rights to d we have. It's to me the same feeling and emotion I feel towards people who do not vote. If you do not vote, you don't get a say. I believe that in my gut that it is our CIVIC DUTY as American, Democratic Citizens to impact change in this country and we do that by voting. " If you don't vote, you don't count."
If you don't speak up, you don't count. Life is not about laying down or bowing your head. Life is about making connections with other human beings to hopefully change the way we all live. To better not only our lives but the lives of other people. I believe this so deeply in my heart, that the interactions I have with other people must be intentional. There has to be a purpose. I want to learn as much as I can about a person that I meet even if it is for a short period in time.
A moment. change is like the wind, it might not be bold, but it's there.

When will our time come:

This weekend marks the 47th Anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's famed - " I have a dream" speech. Dr. King never got to see his vision realized, and although there are great strides to his dream, we, as a nation are far from realizing this dream ourselves.
It's weird to see that one of the country's most outspoken conservative political pundits is planning on having a rally titled "Reclaiming Honor" on the same grounds that Dr. King gave shared his "Dream" with the world. Glenn Beck, the said pundit, says "This is going to be a moment that you'll never be able to paint people as haters, racists, none of it.This is a moment, quite honestly, that I think we reclaim the civil rights movement.-" (From King to Beck: Big rally at Lincoln Memorial Yahoo News.com) Isn't it weird that someone who is promoting a drast immigration policy, that request and supports division amongst American citizens in certain aspects of religious and other beliefs is saying that " This is a moment, quite honestly, that I think we reclaim the civil rights movement?" Which movement Mr. Beck, the one where millions of this country were oppressed and on the outs from "mainstream" America? If this is the idea that you want to create, than I'm sorry to say I don't want it and I don't buy it.
Dr. King said (paraphrasing) that he wants his children to live in a world where they aren't judged, by the color of their skin, but only by the content of their character. We haven't full filled that dream because judgement is still happening when people are denied certain rights because of their sexual orientation, or that minorities still earn less than that of the "average" white American. That dream is not realized when we can't have a discussion on Health Care without the N word being thrown around by members of Beck's fanatical supporters. When there is a rise in Hate Groups after Obama's election- THERE IS A PROBLEM.
A person I know today wrote on her FB that : "No sh*t just met glen beck at the Lincoln memorial. This is gonna be a good weekend. Everyone standing by started singing god bless America. You wouldn't get that at an Obama rally."

Which in response to this and the other many FB posts, and tweets and news about Glenn Beck I write on my wall: Is staying the HECK out of dodge and away from Glenn Beck. This Saturday I will be "HONORING" and THANKING Dr. King for sharing his "DREAM" and making sure that I do my part to make his "DREAM" a reality.. #justsayingdoyourpart!

I didn't post this on her page, I just posted it on my own and left it at that. She responds to my post by saying " Well good thing you won't be out there with the counterprotestors."
My response "To be honest I have nothing against the counterprotestors- Free Speech and ability to contest something that they don't agree with right? Same thing he's doing.. I just have better things to do than entertain that mess... "

And finally her next two responses: a) such an AU response
b)Well, the trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant, but that they know so much that isn’t so~ Ronald Reagan


Okay. I don't like to partake in such matters often, especially when I think there is no ground for growth on either side of the argument. But to the first response, a) This might be the sentiment that many AU students have, but this response is purely my own, and what do you mean to say " Good thing you won't be out there with the counterprotestors." What if I wanted to be out there with them, they have every right to protest the disgrace of a Historical and iconic figure like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. There is nothing that Glenn Beck is doing that in my opinion promotes the "Dream" Dr. King envisioned for this country 47 years ago. And isn't Glenn Beck's and the Tea Party movement in and of itself is a counterprotest! So what contradiction are you making when you make a comment like that?
and b) DO NOT get me started Ronald Reagan and "Ignorance." I will be a liberal, and that so much that isn't so, well let's think about this.. "The war on drugs" isn't over. And that "Just Say No" campaign didn't stop the problems that the urban environment have faced for the last now almost 30 years since he started that stupid policy. Oh and here is another thing topic in the "so much that isn't so" - YOU Mr. Reagan (may you rest in peace) PUT A DISGUSTING NEGATIVE STIGMA on BLACK WOMEN and BLACK COMMUNITIES, that we have struggled for years to get rid of, and have only continued to fall into and can't get away from.
But you know what this back and forth about who is right and who is wrong doesn't change the state of the world in which we live in. The problem is we have been so polarized in our views that there is no movement to have an honest and constructive dialogue about the issues. We have no middle ground in this country much anymore. It is a left and a right and not very much of any place to actually talk. The harder part is knowing that in an age where we were supposed to be coming closer together we are drifting more apart. I am pleading with the leaders of this nation, politicians, teachers, parents and any other mentors of today's youth- PLEASE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE AN OPEN AND HONEST DIALOGUE ABOUT ISSUES THAT BOTHER THEM. ISSUES THAT THEY AREN'T SURE OF, ISSUES THAT THEY STILL NEED TO WORK THROUGH. THIS ISN'T JUST FOR US, IT IS FOR OUR COUNTRY!

So I asked the question in the title: "When will our time come?" When will we be in a space when we can be honest about our faults, while still moving forward to better ourselves and the communities we live in. There is a battle being fought and I think we are distracted from the one we really need to be paying attention to.

5 years ago...

August 29th, 2005 was one of the most tragic natural disasters to ever grace the United States. But what made Hurricane Katrina more devastating was the aftermath and the man-made mistakes prior to and after the storm.
It is clear that the damages that happened to New Orleans and other cities along the Gulf Coast weren't just out of a natural disaster, but of the ignorance of man. Recovery is still in the distance and with the recent Oil Spill in the Gulf it will be hard-pressed to see how much longer Recovery will be.
I think you have heard me say it before: I LOVE NEW ORLEANS. It has a special place in my heart. I have spent 2 Spring Breaks in the city working on rebuilding efforts and meeting with organizations and community members throughout the area, discussing the different techniques they are all using to bring New Orleans back and better than ever.
5 years ago, however the effects of the storm were the most shocking display of pure ignorance I have ever seen. People standing on top of their roofs in stifling heat with little to no water or food are just left there for our public viewing. It was frustrating watching these women, men and children pleading for help and asking to be assisted and not receiving any assistance. It was the most dysfunctional assistance as well. How is it that people who are being transported to other places, don't know where they are going until they get there. And not only that, families are being split up. Children not knowing where their relatives are, parents not knowing what happened to their kids. More than 1 Million people were displaced due to the storm.
The storm revealed much of the corruption and ailments of the city. It allowed the rest of the world to have a sneak peek into the world that many lived in for years. Low wages, horrible education system, a jacked up justice system, a jacked medical system, a class based, race based community that was just getting by.
And what happened now 5 years later. Well 5 years later, we have people still dying from the mismanagement of the FEMA trailers, we have people dying from the PTSD that they are suffering from after the storm. We have an education system that is still fractured, buildings that are still not opened. Communities that are empty. Race and class issues are still prevalent and severely fractured. New Orleans was one of the first cities that had a Public Housing Facility created out of FDR's New Deal. And now, with the effects of the storm and people's greed- we have a "free" lead into Gentrification. All of the Public Housing Facilities are now closed, housing facilities that could have been restored for families to return to New Orleans. But instead you still have meager living wages and now high prices in the housing market- so my question is "What type of community are you rebuilding?" Because obviously it isn't the same one that left.
Now with this Oil crisis, it seems that New Orleans can't catch a break, but you know what I hope that during this 5th year Remembrance period, we the American People and Public realize that a city like New Orleans can't be erased from our history. And that we use New Orleans as a case study and continue to demand that things change. For me New Orleans lives in my blood. I caught the NoLa bug and would eventually love to settle in that great city and help it to rebuild itself, so that the culture and the people can return.
New Orleans serves as a case study for me in regards to what will become of Haiti in 5 years. Much worse than the corruption in New Orleans, Haiti has a Long fight ahead of them, but I think we have begun to see some strides happening in New Orleans that makes me that much more hopeful for the future of Haiti.
Laissez Le Bon Temps Roulet